You have to let go.
You have to accept that things between the two of you will never be the same. You have to learn that when you ended your relationship, your friendship will eventually fall apart. You have to see things through his eyes and not just what you want to see. You have to stand up on your own. Stop finding reasons to hold on to something you have let go.
I know you don’t understand why your friendship has to suffer when you are willing to fight for that friendship without second thoughts. I know you consider him your bestest friend not that you have many which makes it even harder for you. But you hurt him when you chose to walk away and the pain is far greater than being your friend. You have to think not only of yourself but of others as well.
Change is inevitable. It’s bound to happen. You want to go out of your comfort zone, right? Isn’t this your comfort zone? All changes are scary. You aren’t used to it but you have to be brave and courageous and have faith that everything is going to turn out right. Save yourself from disappointments. It’s not the same anymore.
It’s hard to say goodbye to a ten year friendship. It’s difficult to break old habits—turning to him when things get tight. You have let go. This time you have to really let go. Maybe in the future when you see each other again, the friendship would still be there. A true friendship will stay even if you don’t see or talk to each other. Time can only tell.
Be brave. You’re a strong person. You have a path you want to take. It may not happen now but you know you’ll get there because you want to be there. Don’t let your current struggles bring you down. It’s not the end of your journey. It’s the beginning of a new one and whenever you close a chapter of your life, there are characters that you have to leave behind because they don’t fit the story anymore.
People come and go but there is someone who will stay with you no matter what, if you let Him. Hold the hand of someone greater than you—greater than what people can give you. You have forgotten. No one said this journey is a piece of cake. There are times you won’t feel okay. You can always go back and strengthen your connection with Him. Then one day you’ll realize that everything is according to His plan. The road getting there seem difficult but remember what they always say, there is a light after all of this.
Be kind to yourself and be happy—even without a best friend.